


Arthur and you are best friends and secretly in love with each other

by ArthurFlecksGirl



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Freindship, Love, Romance, Shyness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:47:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25054903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurFlecksGirl/pseuds/ArthurFlecksGirl
Summary: You and Arthur are very close-but freinds only.If only he knew that you loe him.And if only you knew thathe is in love with you as well...
Relationships: Arthur Fleck/You, Reader - Relationship
Kudos: 12





	Arthur and you are best friends and secretly in love with each other

The sensation of someones hands across his skin meant everything to him. Fingertips softly stoking up and down his fragile chest. He was loved. Being seen. Being felt.  
It it was just a dream. Just anoher dream he made up in his mind to calm himself. To lull himself to sleep. But it helped.  
Not only the darkness around him got lighter but the darkness within him. The heavyness fell from him.   
Arthur`s body was light as a feather but his mind and heart heavy like the sky right before a thunderstorm.   
Arthur read somewhere that clouds, as light and weighltess as they seemed, were indeed very heavy. Just like him. An almost weighless looking creatue, heavy from sorrow.  
His mind was the dark cloud, when all he wanted to be was the sun.  
Arthur always dreamed about being the light of Gotham city. Or the world even. He had big dreams. Even though life kept bringing him down, he never stopped dreaming about how it could be. How it should have been.  
And he was convinced that his destiny wasnt what he was living the last 35 years. He belived that his destiny was to be seen. Especially by someone who loved him for who he was. Soemone who knew him through and through, without being judemental about his mental illness. He belived that even if that someone wasnt going through the same stuff, there was still a good change to be understood.   
Arthur didnt talked so much. But that wasnt because he didnt wanted to. He simply had no one to talk to except for you. His best friend in the whole world. His only friend. Arthur met you some years ago and there wasnt a day he wasnt thankful for that ever since. The time he spent with you, was the only time he felt was essential and meaningful. The only time he really talked to someone. Sometimes you slept over at his apartment. You in his mums bed (she was commited to Arkham state hospital years ago) and he on the couch. And there wasnt one single time he didnt stayed up, waiting for you to fall asleep and watched you while standing in the doorway of the bedroom. He never got closer. Arthur was too afraid you couuld wake up and realize that he was watching you with love in his eyes.   
Arthur was very much in love with you since you met. To him it was love at the first sign but he never told you. He was way too afraid to lose you as his best friend and he could never risk that. The thought of losing you was so horrible that he wasnt even playing with the possibility of telling you how he truly felt.   
What would you think of him, if you knew that he was taking a picture of you sleeping in his bedroom with his polaroid camera? And that he kept this picture in his diary, with a poem he wrote beneath it? What would you think about him, if you knew that you were the first thing that came to his mind, when he woke up in the morning? And the last image in his heart, right before he fell asleep? No he couldnt tell you. He was too afraid of the answer.  
Arthur knew that he meant a lot to you. But only as a friend. He couldnt imagin that you though of him in any romantic way. A lot of times he asked himself what kinda guys you possibly were into. Strange, that he never asked you about that. Isnt that what best friends do? Taling about their crushes and who they`re into? It was in almost every romantic comedy he watched on tv. Why did you never told him, even if he wasnt asking? But then again. he wasnt telling you about the girl of his dreams eighter. Because it was you obviously. And he would keep this to himself until the day he died.   
He imagined your dream guy being very tall, with blonde hair, dark eyes and muscles. Everything he wasnt. And it hurt. What hurt the most was, that he knew it would be easy to find a man who was healthy. Not only physically but mentally. Someone who wasnt hallucinating and being delusional. Someone who wasnt suffering from chldhood trauma and a strange laughing disorder who scared anyone away who didnt knew about it. Someone who would just go out and eat something with you without getting sick. There were so amny other guys who could give you all of that in an blink of an eye. And he just couldnt offer you that. Maybe he wasnt designed to be a boyfriend at all. But he wanted to be one. More than anything else in the world.  
Arthur always told himself that what you both had together was enough. It was important to have a best friend in your life. To be one. But he couldnt get his mind off how it would be like to touch you once. Not only to touch your arm when you were joking around. Or to give you a quick hug when you said goodbye. He thought about touching you for real. Like, stroking your face with his fingers. Gently and thoughtfully. Touching the corner of your lips. Oh, to kiss you once. Just once, would make the sun shine in his heart forever.  
And he felt it that night in his fantasies. He felt your lips pressed against his. His first kiss. Arthur has never been kissed before. He would be insecure but try his best to be a good kisser. He watched a lot of movies and he longed for a kiss. For your kiss. No one elses. Just yours.   
Arthur was still lying in bed, closing his eyes, making up scenarios in his head. How he would confess his love to you if he was brave enough. He would write you a song on the ukulele and play it to you, asking you what you thought about it and you would go "Thats a beautiful love song" and he would tell you that it has been written for you only and you would fall into his arms.  
Arthur had a strong imagination. He was able to actually feel your embrace while daydreaming about it. He started to feel the warmth of your body. Arthur sighed as his hand slipped into his underwear. He stroke himself gently while he imagined making love to you.  
...

You stood in front of the mirror and asked yourself which outfit Arthur might like better. The black one? Or the something colorful? How was it possible that you didnt even knew what your best friend would prefer? He was wearing a lot of beige, brown and dark red. But would he appriciate the same colors on you?   
You coudlnt help but laugh at yourself. This was ridiculous! As you said, he was your best friend. So he didnt even cared about what you are wearing. Right? He wasnt seeing you like that. You choose the red top and the jeans. Just on case he had a thing for red in general and got ready to meet up with him. Arthur asked you to go to the cinema with him today. A romantic comedy was playing and he loved that kinda stuff, even more than you did. It wasnt a date of course. Just two besties watching a movie together.   
Well....not to you. It wasnt the first time you got to the cinema together . Thats why it made you so nervous. You knew what was about to come. Sitting beside him in the dark, seeing his face ligted up from the big screen, his smiles when he was laughing at a joke. It was diffucult for you just to keep your hand on your side of the seat and not touching his hand by accident when you shared a popcorn. It was tense. Everytime.   
Being in love with your best friend wasnt the easiest thing in the world, wasnt it? There was so much to hide. A frienship was such a fragile thing sometimes. Especially when you held those feelings inside of you that shouldnt been there.  
At first, he was just a friend to you. Someone you met and you thought was a really interestion human being. Outstanding and original. But the platonic love didnt lasted long. It only took weeks to grow into a great love you kept hiding from him ever since.  
Arthur fascinated you in every possible way.   
How his mind worked and how he felt about things. You were aware of the fact that many of his thoughts and point of views came from a evry tragic source. His traumatic childhood. But you loved him for who he was. Not for what he could have been without all those horrible experiences. You loved the outcome. The man he was now. He was just.... Arthur and there was no one in the world you adored more.  
His presence alone made you the happiest girl in the world. Even though you couldnt touch him the way you longed for. He was there with you, laughing together, having a good time, and somehow that was enough to make you happy.   
Sometimes you felt like he was another person when he was alone at home. Lonely. There was that other side of him that came out when there wasnt any comfort. You realized when you came over to meet up with him and he wasnt expecting you to come over. Or when he was answering the phone without knowing it could be you. There was this heavy lobelyness in his voice. This darkness in his beautiful, piercing eyes. Something was buried inside of him. Something you wated to explore.  
Sometimes his smile was geniue and bright. But other times he was smiling with his lips only, while his eyes remained dark. Thats when you wanted to hug him the most. To make that darkness go away. Those dark clouds behind his iris. Make them sunshine.  
You packed yor bag and headed out the door to get in the subway to find yourself in front of the cinema twenty minutes later.Gotham was such a loud city. Loud but somehow dead. People seemed to run down the streets like zombies.This city was able to suck the lfe out of you. Arthur was the only light of Gotham. Or the world even. At least to you.  
He was already standing at the door "Hey Y/N!"" he gave you a quick hug and smiled "You ready for the movie? I already got our tickets and some popcorn!" he waved with the huge cup of popcorn in his right hand. One cup. Sharing time. Hands touching. Great.  
"Sure" you replied "Let`s go!"  
Arthur handed you the tickets and you checked your seat numbers.  
"Oh thats partner seats" you said with a surprised undertone.  
Arthur all of the sudden seemed nervous "Really? "  
"Yeah, look. One big seat for two."  
Arthur ran his fingers trough his hair. If only he knew how sexy he was looking while doing that. His brown curls between his beautiful fingers. You wished it was your hand doing it.  
Fingers! You payed attention to the fingers of your best friend. Embarrassing. You really should stop thinking of him that way. He would run and hide if he knew about your desires. But the heart wants what the heart wants. And Arthur was the most beautiful man there ever was. Inside and out. His beautiful soul was shining through his darkness. And his eyes.....sometimes he was looking at you in a way that made you think he felt something,too. But then again. No. It was just his eyes. He had those intense, piercing,green eyes. he couldnt do anything about making it look like there was something more. It was just his eyes by nature.  
"Oh well, more space to place that big cup of popcorn I guess" he joked as he sat down beside you. The cup was standing between you and him now. But his knee slightly touched yours which made you go wild inside. You turned your head to look at him as the lights went out. The light from the screen was lighting up his face in such a beautiful way, it was almost painful for you to look at. The urge to kiss his cheeks was imense. Arthur didnt looked back. Did he notice that you were staring at him as soon as the room got dark? Probably not.   
Suddenly you felt his left leg bouncing. Something he did when he was nervous. Why would he be nervous right now?  
"Arthur? Is everything okay?"  
He turned his head with a big smile on his face "Sure Y/N. Want a sip of my coke?" he handed you the cup of coke and you sucked on the straw. He put two straws inside, so you both could drink out of it at the same time. You caught yourself thinking this was a romantic thing to do.   
Soon the movie started but you couldnt concentrate at all. Arthur was watching the movie without taking a look at you for like half an hour and somehow you got very disappointed. You didnt even knew what you were expecting. He really wanted to watch that movie. Of course he wanted to. What else should your best friend do while being at the cinema with you?   
You started to feel bad about your feelings. What if your friendship couldnt stand that? As much as you tried, you couldnt stop thinking about kissing him. You wanted to know how he tasted like. How his light tasted like. His darkness.   
Staring at the screen was a forced thing to do. You should enjoy this evening. But you couldnt. Being so close to him without being able to become even closer was torture.   
You changed the position of your arm so you touched the fabric of his sweater. Even the slightst touch felt like home. The desire to press your face against his sweater was unbearable. You wanted to smell him. That sweater he was always wearing. His second skin. It was part of him and you wanted to feel it . You wanted it so bad.  
You reached for the cup of popcorn and put you hand in it. Two seconds later he did the same and your hand touched. Coincidence? Arthur giggled. And for a brief moment you could have sworn that his index finger was stroking the back of your hand. So slightly it was almost nothing. But it was something to you. His touch was making its way altrough your body. A wave of warmth floathing your insides. His fingertip was enough to make you go crazy. God, what should you do now? He will notice. Thank god itwas dark and he couldnt see you blushing.  
Arthur ate a lot of popcorn, which was a very unusual thing for him to do. He lost his appetite a long time ago. A side effect of his medication. Actually, it was hard for him to eat anything.  
You felt him staring at you as he handed you the cup.  
"Here Y/N. You can have the rest. I already ate half of it. And all the coke. I can`t eat any more." he whispered.  
You nodded and placed the popcorn on your lab, tryig not to let it show how tense your body was.  
The couple on the big screen kissed. Could it be any worse? Being reminded of a kiss right now?  
"Y/N?" he tried to speak as low as possible to not bother any of the people around you.  
"Yes, Arthur?"  
"Do you enjoy it?"  
You didnt answered. You just stared at him. The lightning in the room made the scar on his upper lip look so intense. You loved the way it looked when he was talking.   
"I mean, the movie. Do you enjoy it?"  
"Oh....yeah. yeah of course. Its a great movie. And a great evening in general." you said, whle you ate the rest of the popcorn.  
"I´m glad you`re having a good time" he whispered back before he continued to watch the movie.  
Everytime he laughed at a joke your heart was about to jump off your chest. Just the sound of it. And the look of his face while he did so.  
And then.... all of the sudden...something inside of you decited that you couldnt do this anymore.  
You wanted to be honest with him.  
You didnt wanted to hide behind a mask for any longer.  
And being his friend only felt like a mask.  
The fear of losing him was terrifying but you just couldnt hold it inside of you anymore.  
You knew that if you would wait till the movie is over, you woudlnt be able to tell him as soon as the credits rolled.  
You had to tell him NOW.  
"Arthur?"  
"Huh?" he looked at the screen.  
"I know we`re at the cinema right now but....I have to tell you something".  
"Now?"  
"Yes. Its.....impotant"  
He turned his head "Are you not feeling well? Do you want to go home?"  
"Oh, no I´m fine...Its just....." it felt like your heart was about to explode.   
The screen wasnt as bright as some minutes before. You only saw a glimpse of his face.  
"I dont know how to tell you...."  
He leaned in to whisper in your ear "Are you sure you dont want to go at least outside?"  
He was so close you could smell his shampoo.  
The words just kept stuck in your throath.   
You couldnt tell him.  
But you could show him.  
And then. You just did it. Without a warning.  
You pressed your lips softly against his.   
The moment your lips met seemed to last forever. It was just a second but this second contained the entire world.  
You opened your mouth just a little bit to kiss his scar. Oh how many times have you dreamed about kissing that scar? It tasted just as sweet as you always imagined. Your heart was racing as you realized that his hand was touching your cheek . You felt him breathing into yor half opened mouth, before he kissed you back. So gentle and careful it almost broke your heart. But in a good way. In the best way.  
The happiness inside of you grew with every second of his kiss. Was this real? It was. And it was more perfect than any dream you have ever dreamed before. Arthur was very insecure. You knew that he never had a girlfriend before, so it might have been the reason for it. You let your tongue slit between his lips and his found yours to dance with.Your hand wandered its way to the back of his neck, plaing with his curls you felt him smiling against your mouth.  
Arthur pressed his forehead upon yours after your lips parted again.  
There was silence for a whole minute. It felt like another forever.  
You finally kissed him.  
He kissed you back.  
It was the best moment of your life.  
Arthur broke the silence "So that was what you wanted to tell me?" he smirked.  
That damn smirk.  
You nodded. Still spechless.  
"Funny, because I wanted to tell you the same. But I was too afraid that you would reject me". He chuckled.  
"Reject you?" you whispered, kissing the tip of his nose "I was dreaming about kissing you for such a long time. I am so in love with you."  
Arthur rubbed his cheek against your cheek "So am I. You just made me the luckiest man in the world".   
He took your hand and blinked at you "That was my first kiss. I guess I need some practice. Wanna help me out?"


End file.
